A Tale of Two Cultures
Part 1: Toto, I Think We’re Not in Mammoth Anymore
Written By Michael Baumwohl
There is a thin line between gay and straight. Beyond the fact that sexual orientation determines who one may share their intimate or explicit moments with, the straight and gay communities have unique and distinct cultures with rules, rituals and social environments that couldn’t be more different. Being from the small town of Mammoth Lakes, California, I realized how sheltered I was when moving to the big and exciting City of Angels. I felt much like Alice tumbling down the rabbit hole, or Dorothy in the bright, new Technicolor land of West Hollywood, but some of the minute details that many may overlook showed me a completely foreign world. To many individuals with little knowledge of gay culture, homosexual men and women are thought to simply mesh with one another since we all have the commonalty of our orientation, but when looking deeper at the interaction of man to man or woman to woman, it is captivating sight to see.
I once sat down with a friend of mine over sushi and as the check came, I quickly grabbed it and handed my credit card to the waiter. My friend asked me when I go on a date with another man, “who pays?” For a moment, I sat in silence. I hadn’t the slightest idea who paid, thus, my desire to understand gay social interaction began. Over the next two-and-a-half years I would visit the local clubs, those that allowed 18-year-olds to enter, to observe and participate in one of the greatest learning experiences of my life.
The first time I stepped foot into TigerHeat is probably the equivalent of walking into your first high school dance: the music was blasting, guys were sitting on the sidelines waiting for the night to begin, and I was as nervous as ever. I could feel my heart racing, the fear and excitement rushing through my veins in anticipation of what the evening would bring. After an hour, more boys started to arrive, each with at least one girl dressed just as fabulous as them. It was then that I was asked to dance for the very first time—by a boy. He had blue eyes, blonde hair and the gayest Care Bear T-shirt I had ever seen in my life, but it was a dance I would never forget. After three songs, he left and refused to dance with me, even after I approached him. It was one of many experiences that made little sense to me.
A few weeks later I attended one of my Aunt Millie’s wedding anniversaries where my two cousins, whom I hadn’t seen in at least seven years, sniffed me out like a pack of wolves. No gay man could walk by these ladies without tipping off their all-powerful gaydars. After one of the most awkward dinners of my life, my cousins invited me to attend their shared graduation party, with a dress code that was said to be casual. The word “casual” in Mammoth Lakes, means a T-shirt and sweats that may be worn out and 10 years old, but I decided to go a step beyond that and wear jeans, tennis shoes and an Abercrombie button-down shirt with the top few buttons undone. When I arrived for the celebration of my cousins, I could have arrived naked and been just as out of place. Everyone was in dresses or suits and the eldest of my cousins came to greet me. She looked me up and down and grinned as she asked, “Are those the only shoes you own? All of my gays own at least 20 pairs.” Little did I know that my cousins were the ruling queens of all queens for the massive Long Beach gay scene, and if the half of the party that was family had left, what was left would have looked like a gay club on New Years Eve. On one side of the room were members of my family whom I feared knowing my true identity, and on the other were some of the hottest men I had ever seen outside of a porn video. It was as if my world had gone topsy-turvy and back again, especially after I laid eyes on one man in particular. Let’s just say I truly had a “coming out” party that I desperately needed. From that night forward I knew things were never going to be the same, but to an extent I couldn’t have possibly have predicted…
Leave a Reply
Donate
Advertisement
Oh Michael! I love this article. Especially the part where my sister and I are the “ruling queens of all queens” haha. I am so excited you are writing for GetOut.
Very nice article! Glad to know there is a new member of GetOutLB!
Really great story, looking forward to more.
u go michael lol, its derek. this is good shit
Hahahaha I love this! You are a great writer, and I agree with Laura – glad to be one of the ruling queens of all queens. Lol.